Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A Day In the Life of a Procrastinator

You know that horrible sinking feeling you get when you have a large project due and you haven't started it?  Yeah, I'm totally feeling that right now.  I don't know how I get myself into these situations, but I hate them.

Okay, that's not true; I know exactly how I got into this.

See, the teacher sent out an email before the semester started and said not to buy any of the supplies until we come to class because she had to explain some of them.  So I didn't buy the books ahead of time, like I normally* do.  So on the first day of class she explained which books and art supplies we would need first.  (The class is Basic Costume Design, so we have to draw stuff.)  I bought the books that she said we would need immediately and called it a day.

Fast forward to two weeks ago.  We had our first assignment due on the play we were supposed to read, and I still hadn't bought it.  The night before it was due I tried to find it, but the only bookstore that had it was the university's bookstore, and it was closed for the day.  I considered getting up at 8 the next morning to buy it, but I wouldn't have time to read the play and do the assignment before class started at 9:30, so I didn't get it.  I felt bad for not doing the assignment, but I had done pretty well on the first few quizzes, so I wasn't too worried.  Then I missed a few classes.  And I felt guilty for missing class and not knowing what the homework was, so missed again.  I knew the final assignment was coming up, but without being in class and hearing the reminders, I didn't realize how soon.  The teacher sent out an email with the assignment specifications, and it said the due date was this Thursday.  I still hadn't bought the book.

I should have gotten it this weekend, but I was at home from Friday to Tuesday and I didn't want to get it there.  Then Tuesday morning I woke up at 5 am (*shudder*) and drove back to school so I could make it to that 9:30 class.  I got to dorm at about 8:40, took a nap, and then went to class.  I hadn't been to class in a while, so of course I had no idea what was going on.  The teacher says something at the end of class about turning in our final designs on Thursday.  I realize that it's time for me to buy the play.

Fast forward to this afternoon at 3:45.  I had called the bookstore and asked them to hold the play for me.  I was going to go pick it up pretty soon, but I wasn't in a rush.  Then my friend came by and said, "Hey, are you ready to go?"  I had completely forgotten about my plans to go to her lesson with the sister missionaries.  I drove to the bookstore really fast, got the book, and then made it to her lesson only a couple minutes late.  I came home and read blogs, watched videos, checked Twitter and Facebook.  I talked to my friends.  Finally around dinner time my friend asked if I wanted to go get food with her at the union, and I told her I couldn't because I had homework.  So then I actually started reading the play (after procrastinating a bit more).  And then I had a Hall Council meeting (which took FOREVER).  And now I'm here.  Writing a blog.

So, yes, I know exactly how I got to this point.

What I don't know is how to make myself care more about my grades when I only have ONE STUPID YEAR LEFT.  I have to finish college.  There is no other option.  And I can finish.  I got myself this far.  I'm just so ready to MOVE ON.  I want to start my life, my real life.  I want to teach.  I want to write.  I want to live in my own place and be able to pay my own bills with my big, fat teacher's salary.  I want to spend my free time fixing up my novel and looking for an agent.  But in order to do these things I HAVE TO FINISH COLLEGE.

You remember The Little Engine That Could?  I guess I just need to be like that guy.  He didn't wait until the last minute to gather up his winter store to sustain him through the cold February nights.  Or maybe that was the Ant and the Grasshopper.  Whatever.  The point is, it's time for me to -- shudder -- CHANGE.

Here goes nothin'.

*Actually, since I'm a junior now and the novelty of buying textbooks has worn off, I didn't buy any of my books ahead of time.  I waited until the first week of the semester.  It was weird.  When I was a freshman, I bought them as soon as the lists went up over summer.  I'm such a nerd.

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